(Cutting her upper arm with a razor or scissors, wincing followed a deep breath of as
her head falls backward and a hint of a smile forms in the corners of her mouth) That’s
better. (Pauses to look at herself, then is able to look at her own reflection) What? It is!
Why can’t you understand that? You know why you do this; it’s not what everyone
thinks. I don’t do this out of anger or frustration; it’s more of a…release. It reminds me
that I can feel. I can feel pain which is shadowed by the rush, then the burning sets in
and usually last for a couple of days, much like my wounds, like a reminder and really, I
don’t mind it. Everyone can see the other scars on arms or my thighs and they
discreetly, sensitively try to inquire on how I got them.I don’t care what they think, they
have their own devices, like, I bet most of them drink when they get home from work or
smoke pot or are addicted to online websites. This is my escape, my release, my
deflation of the day.
Why should I even bother? I loathe the effort it takes to raise my arms to even brush
my teeth. Why should I anyway, it’s not like anyone will notice, I don’t get close enough
to people for them to see if I have plaque on my teeth or horrible morning breath. On the
other hand, if they do get that close, that will surely drive them away (a look of self
gradification). Good, because frankly, I cannot deal with the other people around me, I
don’t like them and I don’t give a damn if they like me… Just be with myself, in my
world, alone. I have chosen this as a way to survive, it keeps me from driving my fist
though the wall, it stops me from ripping the hair from my head, and it stops me from
breaking someone’s face.
I woke up. I was hoping I could keep dreaming. I don’t want to do this again. My arms
and legs feel like they are filled with concrete. Stiff, weighed down. I can barely move. I
even have to remind myself to breathe, it’s not involuntary any more, my chest is too
heavy to fill with air. I know the sun is shining but everything is so dark, hazy,
undefined… easy to get lost. I always hope for that; to get lost. I long to be surrounded
by the darkness, there is a comfort in there. To see nothing, feel nothing, be in nothing,
that’s what I desire.
Do you know who you are? (sly smile, shaming the person they are talking to) If you
don’t, I can tell you… I can see right through you. You are transparent, same as
everyone else. I know that you try to put on a face for the world outside of yourself, I
know that you lie, I know that you’ll do anything that will progress your popularity. Why
do you do these things that are so untrue? I can tell you that you do it because you
don’t know who you are and only conform and do what you think is expected of you.
You are weak and it’s sad that you gave up on yourself so soon and for no reason
because no one cares about you, you only lie to the world to make yourself feel better.
You think that if you keep telling the world on Facebook or Instagram, about how great
life is, then it might come true. Keep lying to yourself and maybe one day you’ll believe
it, but I never will because I know you. Such a waste of space. Hypocrite.
(Jovial, talking to another person who is in distress about their life) Listen kid, you’re so
over thinking this… C’mon it’s not that complicated. What’s wrong with who you are
now? Nothing! You are unique and it’s ok to be that way, why do you want to be a
cookie cutter personality? Why do you want to act and dress like everyone else?
What’s so wrong with what you want? Shed all of that, you might find freedom and you
might even like who you are. Don’t have no shame for your own game, because this
story you write is your own. Live your life for you and not anyone else. If you do, you
may be able to love the little things and eventually love yourself.
(Ages 12 to 19)
Audition: Tuesday, December, 11th at 6 pm
Shows: January 18th, 19th, 25th & 26th at 7 pm
Audition for Acting Zone's annual original drama! GreyStone is an exploration into the unknown realm that hides between life and death.
This will be a monologue audition. Please pick a monologue and memorize it. You might be asked to read one of the others as well. Familiarize yourself with all of the monologues. If you can’t attend the auditions, you may submit a video of your monologue to the Acting Zone email at firstname.lastname@example.org. The monologues are not from the play but they give a good look into what is needed for the characters in the play.
Copyright 2013. Acting Zone at Montessori in the Park. All rights reserved.
E-Mail Acting Zone at Montessori in the Park youth theater at ActingZone@mipschool.org to learn about plays for kids & teens!